Friday, September 15, 2006

Patron Saints




Catholics have an inexhaustible list of resources to cure whatever ails you: Patron Saints. The actual rate of canonization has slowed somewhat over the years, but really, I think they've pretty much got everything covered so there mustn't be too many job openings, at least as far as patronage is concerned.
Luckily for us, the divinity is not above the World Wide Web, which means you too can check in at www.catholic-forum.com to see who to call on the next time you find yourself suffering from gastro-intestinal problems or are running late for the bus.

Here's a list of highlights:
Patron Saint of...
-girls from rural areas: Ste. Germaine Cousin
-fear of mice: Ste. Gertrude of Nivelles
-happy death: St. Joseph
-doubt: St. Joseph (double duty)
-art: Ste. Catherine de Bologna
-art dealers: John the Apostle
-against arm pain: St. Amalburga
-craftsmen who work with a wheel: Ste. Catherine of Alexandria
-falsely accused people: there are several, my pick is Ste. Elizabeth of Hungary
-against oversleeping: St. Vitus
-pastry chefs: St. Philip the Apostle
-against the devil (what a responsibility!): St. Dionysius the Aeropagite
-pigs: St. Anthony the Abbot
-lunatics: St. Job
-scrupulous people: St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
-seekers of lost articles: Ste. Anne

Many on the site's list reflect concerns and occupations of days gone by, such as shepherds and parents of large families. But they are keeping up with the times. Someone special has been assigned to answer each of your modern-day prayers related to computers, social workers, television writers and chemical manufacturers. My only question is, who in this day and age is saintly enough to get the job of Patron Saint against reality tv?

No comments: