Sunday, April 18, 2010
Last night I indulged in one of my long-standing wishes / guilty pleasures: the MONSTER TRUCK SPECTACULAR, here at Montreal's Stade Olympique . I was lucky to attend with seasoned-veteran-friends who are always able to score some excellent seats. Jacked-up on over-priced chips, hot dogs and Coors Lite, I was, as they say, ready to rumble.
This double-decker car derby was sort of the equivalent of the fat Shriners riding the tiny bicycles. Top car guy handles the steering while bottom car guy handles gas and breaks. This show is of course accompanied by loud, play-by-play commentary by two men who I'm sure just live for this stuff, and the evening's events provided many memorable lines.
Memorable quote #1, in reference to the double-decker cars. Imagine this screamed into a microphone, Hulk Hogan style:
"AND THEY CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER! IT'S LIKE TWO HALVES OF THE SAME BRAIN SPLIT APART!!"
Much hilarity ensues especially when the radiators blow up and steam comes pouring out from under the hoods. Or, they tip over. Memorable hyperbolic quote #2:
"YOU GOT 2000 POUNDS OF METAL ON TOP OF YA! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT WAY!!!"
The thing about these Monster truck shows is that they really appeal to the old-fashioned "fire and brimstone" kind of crowd. Lots of noise, lots of big power, and lots of everything in sight getting totally obliterated for no reason other than it being there. Oh, and fire.
Memorable hyperbolic quote #3 :
"YOU GOTTA LOVE A GUY WHO WOULD SACRIFICE HIS FIRE-PROOF VEST TO PUT THE FLAMES OUT ON HIS ENGINE!"